Girls Dreams

In another election year, the sight of a suited, groomed politician saying the words “Picture this, I’m a bag of dicks, put me to your lips” would be odd. But this is not another election year, this is this election year, and I’m starting to worry that Donald Trump might be borrowing and then butchering lines from my favorite rappers. It’s no longer tough to imagine that gelatinous walking frown saying something to the effect of, “We the best / We will cut a frowny face in your chest, little wench / I'm unmentionably fresh, I'm a mensch, get correct,” save for the fact that El-P is a wizard and Donald Trump—who, again, is made out of discarded chunks of Jello—has the eloquence of an 11-year-old who’s forgotten his homework.

Imagine Trump—who I figure would be a diluted, powdery orange Jello, rather than the more obvious but equally unpleasant carrot flavor—debating Hillary Clinton in a month or so’s time, shouting over her with the line “I will walk into a court while erect, screaming 'Yes! I am guilty motherfuckers, I am death.'” As long as he followed it up with “And they’d still vote for me if I did that. People like me, OK?” it’d go down a storm with the carbon monoxide-addled racists who are so fond of him.

The new video for the DJ Shadow and Run The Jewels cut “Nobody Speak,” taken from the DJ’s newish record, The Mountain Will Fall, digs into this newfound profanity nicely. Two politicians sit opposite one another and mime Mike and El’s lines, building up to a fistfight and an all out brawl. One of them really looks like Rudy Giuliani, too, which is nice, although he sort of ends up winning the fight so you don’t really get the pay-off there.

DJ Shadow said of the video that “We wanted to make a positive, life-affirming video that captures politicians at their election-year best. We got this instead.” And Killer Mike, a prominent and long-standing supporter of Bernie Sanders during the primaries, added “It's such a dope video. It's what I really wish Trump and Hillary would just do and get it over with… And even in that fight I think Hillary would win - and that's not an endorsement.”

Check out the video below and maybe don’t eat Jello for a while.

Alex Robert Ross loves America. Follow him on Twitter.

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