Girls Dreams

This article is part of #ClickDay on Noisey, where we celebrate the shameless art of tabloid journalism.

In a shocking new expose to be published soon, it is reported that KISS frontman Gene Simmons has slept with over a dozen (12) women! Wow! Obviously, the band has seen their share of naked ladies and their vaginas... but 12!? Holy cow!

We knew Simmons was rich and famous, and therefore leads a more fulfilling life than us plebeians, but the knowledge that he has bedded so many women that he is in the DOUBLE DIGITS makes us feel like sexual scum compared to him. Our lives will continue to be worth less than nothing unless we are able to feel the caress of as many sexual partners. We will pray to Gene Simmons nightly to bless us with even a small fraction of the sexual virility he possesses. Be sure to sleep with your officially licensed KISS merchandise against your genitals and may Gene Simmons bless your pathetic libidos.

 

 

from Noisey http://ift.tt/2cbnTkD

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