If we lived in saltier times, perhaps Jay-Z would have released his own artistic film about his affair as suggested in Beyonce's Lemonade by now, like Frankee and Eamon for the luxe sportswear generation. Unfortunately for Jay Z the closest he's gotten to a say in all this is a shout out from Beyonce on stage during her Formation tour confirming that they're still very much together, and that's probably all he's gonna get.
Whether you believe the affair actually happened, was orchestrated and played up to as part of a marketing tactic, or a combination of the two, Jay-Z has taken blow after blow, meme after meme, in total silence while the image of him literally grovelling at his wife's feet plays on loop exclusively on his own streaming platform.
In case you were wondering what a Jay-Z apology response would be like, though, Funny Or Die have taken it upon themselves to make a spoof film titled I Gave You Lemons on his behalf. Mirroring the format of Lemonade, it is an hour long and split into segments: "Sad" and "Sorry", because Jay-Z is very sad and also sorry. In order to apologise appropriately, Jay-Z turns to WikiHow to teach him step by step, and then he drops a load of wisdom, like "Life gave you lemons, and you made Lemonade. Life gave me Lemonade, and now I'm doin' this," and "Imma put my apology on Tidal, so everyone can have access to it if they really work hard and are really, really intent on getting it."
Anyway, if you want to hear some dude pretending to be Jay-Z recite a WikiHow page for a sixty full minutes over stock footage of distressed men and turtles then go right ahead.
from Noisey http://ift.tt/1W8P1DM
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