In the wake of Scott Weiland's death, there has been an obvious outpour of emotions and tribute to the singer from critics and fans alike. While most of the responses have focused on his career as a musician, there has been little word on Weiland from inside of his personal circle. Yesterday, Rolling Stone published an essay written by Weiland's ex-wife, Mary Forsberg Weiland. She's the author of Fall to Pieces, a memoir released in 2009 recounting her life and experience with the late singer's fame. In the essay, she briefly looked back at his life, and the consequences his actions had on their family.
"December 3rd, 2015 is not the day Scott Weiland died. It is the official day the public will use to mourn him, and it was the last day he could be propped up in front of a microphone for the financial benefit or enjoyment of others. The outpouring of condolences and prayers offered to our children, Noah and Lucy, has been overwhelming, appreciated and even comforting. But the truth is, like so many other kids, they lost their father years ago. What they truly lost on December 3rd was hope."
She goes on to talk about Scott's late performances, and the state he had found himself at the end of his life.
"In reality, what you didn't want to acknowledge was a paranoid man who couldn't remember his own lyrics and who was only photographed with his children a handful of times in 15 years of fatherhood. I've always wanted to share more than anyone was comfortable with. When writing a book years ago, it pained me to sometimes gloss over so much grief and struggle, but I did what I thought was best for Noah and Lucy. I knew they would one day see and feel everything that I'd been trying to shield them from, and that they'd eventually be brave enough to say, "That mess was our father. We loved him, but a deep-rooted mix of love and disappointment made up the majority of our relationship with him."
Later, the two divorced, and Scott remarried. Mary hoped that he would use his new marriage to gain a new set of perspectives and alter his attitudes. According to her, it did not happen.
"Instead, when he remarried, the children were replaced. They were not invited to his wedding; child support checks often never arrived. Our once sweet Catholic boy refused to watch the kids participate in Christmas Eve plays because he was now an atheist. They have never set foot into his house, and they can't remember the last time they saw him on a Father's Day. I don't share this with you to cast judgment, I do so because you most likely know at least one child in the same shoes. If you do, please acknowledge them and their experience."
Despite their marriage ending, she recounts the last years of her relationship to Scott where he would call her into the night, and then reflects on what they're most upset about:
"Over the last few years, I could hear his sadness and confusion when he'd call me late into the night, often crying about his inability to separate himself from negative people and bad choices. I won't say he can rest now, or that he's in a better place. He belongs with his children barbecuing in the backyard and waiting for a Notre Dame game to come on. We are angry and sad about this loss, but we are most devastated that he chose to give up."
She ends the essay asking all of us not to get caught up in his death, but instead use it to help future generations of kids to be cared for.
"Our hope for Scott has died, but there is still hope for others. Let's choose to make this the first time we don't glorify this tragedy with talk of rock and roll and the demons that, by the way, don't have to come with it. Skip the depressing T-shirt with 1967-2015 on it – use the money to take a kid to a ballgame or out for ice cream."
You can read the entire essay on Rolling Stone.
from Noisey http://ift.tt/1NELlUO
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